Those following these
posts know Jennifer and I have been struggling a fair amount these last six months.
I have appreciated the
process of the struggle and learned from it. I know I have grown as a result of
the struggles.
At times like these, we
sometimes take inspiration from others who have struggled and captured the
essence of struggle eloquently. It is with greater import when such
inspirational words come from a young soul who is just beginning to recognize
the value of struggle.
What a delightful surprise today to receive an email from my closest friend Joel, whose son Owen,
14, has just graduated from eighth grade.
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Owen Gardner, giving a speech to his eighth grade graduating peers. |
The short graduation message
he delivered to his peers impressed me so much with its poignancy, personal
admissions and universality, I am reprinting it here.
I received it untitled:
“It was the best of times, and it was the worst of
times.”
That quote is from Charles
Dickens' story A Tale of Two Cities, a novel about the French
Revolution. I could not think of a better quote with which to describe these
past three years. I got to know people that I never expected to know, and I
drifted from some whom I thought I would never drift from. I faced many
struggles over the past three years, some of which I have overcome, and some of
which I am only beginning to recognize. However, all of my struggles, past and
current, I have learned from, and will continue to learn from until the day I
die.
A struggle with which I have dealt for as long as I can
remember, is organization. Ever since I was a toddler I have had a particular
knack for losing things. I have had credit reduced from many an assignment due
to my poor organizational skills. However, schoolwork is not the limit of my
challenge. Outside of school I have managed to lose many a toy, though I don't
lose them so much now. I have tried to improve, and I think that I'm a bit
better about my organization now, as opposed to when I was a child, however I
know that I still have quite a ways to go.
I have always been quite the procrastinator. When given a long-term
assignment, I have always managed to rationalize pushing it off until the last
day. Especially long writing assignments, and oral presentations, something
like a speech that one would write when leaving a school, talking about the
various struggles they encountered and overcame while there. Hypothetically, if
I had to write something like that, I'm absolutely sure that I wouldn't be done
with it until the day it's due. Hypothetically. Whether it be video games,
television, or just plain lack of volition; I always manage to put things that
require time and thought off until I have neither of those things in any kind
of excess.
Over the past three years I have actually overcome some
struggles as well. One of which being my homework habits. Though I do admit
that it does sound contradictory to some of the above things, I do believe that
I have better habits than I did in elementary school. Back in my days attending
elementary school, I never really did my homework, but still managed to get
reasonable grades. Through my years here at Bigelow, I have learned that
homework counts for much more than it used to. Hence in my past three years
here, I have managed to actually do my homework, and losing it, as
opposed to just blatantly ignoring it.
Everyone struggles, it's just a part of life. I struggle even
when doing things I enjoy. The struggle, surprisingly enough, is often what
makes it all the more fun and I get more out of the experience. There are many
times that I feel accomplished not because I got something, but because I did
it myself. Solving your problems by yourself gives this proud sense of
accomplishment that cannot be found anywhere else.
“If there is no struggle,
there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate
agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground. They want rain
without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of
its many waters. This struggle may be a moral one; or it may be a physical one;
or it may be both moral and physical; but it must be a struggle.”
-Frederick Douglass
I have learned here at Bigelow, that no matter how much you may
hate struggles, and try as you may to be rid of them, you need them, as they
shape you. You cannot change them, you can only conquer them, or be conquered
by them.
“In the end, you are exactly--what you are.
Put on a wig with a million curls,
put the highest heeled boots on your feet,
yet you remain in the end just what you are.”
-Mephistopheles
* * *
Perhaps my favorite line
of Owen’s is this:
“I struggle even when doing things I enjoy.”
His words certainly
capture my feelings about working on Phoenix for the last few months. I will
try to remember them the next time I am hot, sweaty, in a contorted position,
with ribs aching because they are holding my body weight while I try to drive a
screw, which has fallen several times during failed attempts.
2 comments:
AMEN!!!
Hang in there Mathias! You guys are almost there.
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